Sadness

Seriously, you all can skip over this if you want. I'm just using this forum to release some pent up stresses.

I try to be upbeat most of the time. I try to be positive most of the time. I try to be an example to others most of the time. I try to laugh most of the time. Lately though, things in life have been interfering with that. Big time interfering. And it all has to do with loss. I have lost several people in this past year that at different times in my life were important to me.

One was a softball dad. When I coached HS softball, I coached all 3 of his girls. With the oldest, we won a state championship. With the other 2, we were transitioning from a state powerhouse slow-pitch team, to a brand new fast pitch program. Year one was awful...horrible...perhaps my worst ever coaching experience. But year 2...man, we still had a losing record, but we beat 2 top 10 ranked teams. We had some fun, we surprised some people...and through it all, there was Gary. He was always upbeat and supportive. Always. He didn't interfere at all, but if I needed him, he was there. I still picture him standing behind that backstop. RIP Gary, I miss you.

Next came Joe. Now remember back in the day...Smyrna was a small town. I started kindergarten with Joe and went to school with him for the next 12 years. We didn't hang out, we weren't best friends, we were just classmates from the same small town. Often we had classes together. Then along came Facebook. When I finally gave in and signed up, he was one of the first people to friend me. He and I had nothing in common, he was a devout Republican..I am not, he was a rabid Georgia Tech fan....I am not, he was a runner, I am not, he loved little dogs...I do not. We had some nice, fun jovial stabs aimed at each other over these topics.(especially football)  One afternoon he was out for his daily run, and bam...he was gone. Massive heart attack, gone immediately.  I miss seeing his daily posts. RIP Joe, I miss you.

Next those poor kids in Connecticut. I still can't talk about it. It hurt me deeply on so many different levels. As a mom, as a teacher. That day is a dark, dark day.

And recently Melanie. Another CHS alumnus who I reconnected with via Facebook. We had homeroom and many classes together in high school. She was a member of the pep squad. I was on the basketball team. I have never met someone with a bigger smile, or heart. In stature she was tiny...I doubt she ever hit 5 feet, but the things she did for others.......She was the backbone of our reunion committee. She kept us all in touch. She worked endlessly for others because she loved CHS, more particilarly our class. We didn't hang out, we weren't best friends, again, we were just classmates from a small town. But she was in my life daily. And I am a better person for knowing her. One day she was here, the next morning gone, brain aneurysm. I miss seeing her daily posts. RIP Melanie, I miss you.

Gary was maybe 60...Melanie and Joe were 48, just like me. Way to young to leave this earth. I believe in God, I believe they are all in heaven...I rejoice in that fact....but I miss them being here on earth.

Also in the middle of all of this, 2 of my favorite co-workers got promotions and moved to other schools. The first was Lynda. She was the first person at RMS who was ever nice to me. I love her like a sister.  She is one of those people who will break their back to keep others happy. Even though she is just a few miles away, I don't see her often. I miss her.

Just a few days later, Elena left our school. Not only was she one of my close friends, she also cuts and colors my hair. I used to make her laugh by saying stuff in spanish, but exaggerating my southern accent. Even though she is just a few miles away, I miss her.

I have been sad lately, I have been close to depressed. I am coming out of it, but it isn't happening with any speed. One thing that has changed is that I am more often telling people what they mean to me. Thanking them for being in my life. Talking to them more often. I need to keep doing this. I need to get out more. I need some tree therapy.

So to my faithful 7 followers. I love each and every one of you. Thank you for being in my life.